…Which I am sharing as a way to share what happened with my surgery last Wednesday, October 14:
“How’d it go today?” Harrison asked, somewhat tentatively. He’d spent the afternoon at a friend’s and was now lying next to me in bed.
Big breath. “It was hard,” I answered, just as tentatively. And then, worried that he would take that to mean there was a new medical concern, I said more. “It’s nothing at all for you to worry about. But they couldn’t make me a new breast, so now I don’t have one. I wasn’t prepared for that. I’m very sad.”
“Does that mean you’ll never have breasts?”
“Well, I still have one. I’ll need to decide whether to have another surgery to make me another. But if I don’t have another surgery, no, I’ll never have a breast.”
“Oh. I’m really sorry, Mama.”
I can’t muster much more than that, other than to say that I am grieving and I am angry and I am rather shut down from the world.